


The Obligatory Drunk Buffy Fic

by Witherstone



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Drunken Confessions, Drunken Flirting, Drunkenness, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:08:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28921842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Witherstone/pseuds/Witherstone
Summary: S5, set between 'Triangle' and 'Checkpoint'. The Slayer is just trying to deal... with everything.Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Relationships: Spike/Buffy Summers
Kudos: 17





	The Obligatory Drunk Buffy Fic

Spike unsteadily exited a bar after getting cut off, ready to search for another joint. The cool night air should sober him up enough to pass for a serviceable patron elsewhere. He made a shortcut through the local campus, eyeing pretty college girls and making them giggle. Then he heard a voice he would recognize from over a hundred yards and turned abruptly in its direction.

It was coming from the always-a-party type of frat house, decorated with Christmas lights and toilet paper. He staggered toward the crowd gathered upfront, one blond girl catching his attention. She was talking to an obviously intoxicated man that was clumsily putting his moves on her.

"Just let me take you home, for real", he pleaded, trying to grab her hand. "It's for safety and all. Lots of crazies around town."

Spike rolled closer and Buffy noticed him, a familiar scowl on her face.

"I can handle myself, thank you." She said sternly and turned to leave, but the boy tugged on her arm.

"I don't think you can. Come on, you're barely walking."

Buffy pulled her sleeve out of his hand. "You wanna be barely limping?"

It was stupid of him, really, but Spike stepped in.

"Who's the nit?", he asked smugly, eyeing the tanned man that was struggling to stand up straight.

Before Buffy had the chance to reply, the frat resumed his attack on her shoulder in an attempt to drag her closer to him.

"Hey pal, we were talking, alright?" Buffy didn't budge from her place on the pavement, sighing heavily.

"Do I need a male excuse just to go home now?", she snapped. "Get lost, both of you!" She easily shook off the boy and started to walk away, but he skipped forward and blocked her path. Spike decided to watch from the lines, Slayer violence being his favorite sport.

"Girl, lose the punk and come on. Or you could always sleep here if you want." Wait, he didn't even know her name?

Buffy wobbled slightly passing him by but retained her resolve. "Look, it was a nice party, but it's over, and I'm going home. Alone. Now let me be." She shot him an angry look and took off swiftly in an impressively straight line. The frat tried to follow, but Spike interrupted, daring him to make a move. Sometimes a good punch was worth the migraine.

"Sod off, you twat", he snarled and drunkenly considered changing into game face, but a prolonged glare was enough to make the boy lose interest and turn away. It was almost disheartening.

He sloppily ran after Buffy, catching up with her furious march.

"Wait up, Slayer", he called, walking behind her. She didn't turn back.

"I can still handle myself, Spike. Not in the mood for you."

He was strutting by her side in long strides, leather coat fluttering behind.

"Should I call over the frat then?", he asked, watching her roll her eyes.

"White-knighting much?", she barked. "What are you even doing on campus?"

"Same as you I s'pose", he replied, wondering how many drinks she had. She's always been a lightweight.

"Hating yourself?", she retorted and he slowed down slightly, wagering his options. Then a car made a sudden sharp turn right in front of them, driving over the curb, and he swung her out of its way without thinking, hand over her waist. She stood shocked for a moment, way too close, then started laughing and hugged him.

He froze, preparing for the assault, but her hands stayed over his chest, the booze surely hitting her with delay.

"Buffy, love, what are you doing?", he asked tentatively.

She was giggling into his neck, steadying herself against his body.

"I'm hot!", she exclaimed, clinging. "And you're much cooler."

He hesitantly stood her down, holding her hands.

"Yeah? I thought I was hot too." He went for the standard approach, but she just smirked and walked away.

"No", she stated firmly, staring at the ground. "No more sexy vampires. I'm done."

He followed suit, moderately amused. "Am I a sexy vampire?"

"No, you're not", she was smiling as she said it and it was all the confirmation he needed.

"What is it about vampires, then?", he carried on, trying to derail her drunken train of thought and get some sort of embarrassing confession out.

She occasionally stumbled over the uneven pavement. "Nothing", she replied, determined to get wherever she was going. "Bad, nasty, gotta stake them all."

"Really?" He was simply following her, his own intoxication making it entertaining. "Then why are we talking right now?"

She wasn't thinking before responding. "That's the thing. Talking." He tried to make sense out of it.

"What about it?"

"I could talk forever."

"Hardly unusual for a bird your age", he gathered, looking around warily. He couldn't recognize the neighborhood.

"No." She had the resolve of an utterly plastered, yet deadly warrior. "When you're over a hundred. You can talk about anything. It's never boring."

Huh. That was an interesting point of view. Surprisingly inquisitive of her, too.

"Wait 'till you hear about the stamina." He couldn't help himself, but she was giggling again, leaning down slightly.

"Yeah, like you could top me." That was a nice visual. "I beat you, like, so many times. I am way stronger than you."

"Why didn't you kill me then?"

It was risky, but he could still run away faster than she could find the pointy end of a stake in her current condition. She pondered the question for a bit.

"'Cause you help. And you're kinda funny", she replied. "In an annoying way", she added quickly.

"Your friends don't like me", he teased, but didn't expect the answer that was about to come.

"They didn't like Angel either."

They both went silent, Buffy staring at the nearby tree as her own words reached her. She cleared her throat and decided to pretend nothing happened.

"I have to go", she uttered and immediately tripped over the curb, instinctively grabbing Spike by the arm; he held her up, unsure what was going on, but determined to enjoy it to the end.

"Drunk Slayer, gotta get you home", he declared, hoisting her up. "You're not even going in the right direction."

"Wait", she fought him playfully, not letting go of his hand this time. "I promised Giles I'll swing by."

"The Watcher's house it is then."

* * *

Giles woke up to loud banging on his doors, then heard laughter and clattering on the windows. He got up quickly, grabbing a weapon as we went to look through the eyehole.

"It's closed", Spike stated from the outside, going through his pockets for anything resembling a lockpick. "You got the key?"

"I can kick the doors in", Buffy giggled and he steadied her just as the Watcher opened the door, exasperated.

"What is going on here?", he asked, then took in the scene before him. An utterly drunk Slayer was hanging by the lapels of Spike's duster, the vampire holding her up roughly by the waist. "Dear lord", Giles commented as Buffy let out a delighted squeal.

"It appears the Slayer had one too many", Spike explained as he tried to untangle himself from her. "Take care of her, will you, Rupert?", he asked, gently transferring the girl to the stunned man. Buffy hugged Giles enthusiastically, still chuckling.

"What did you do to her?", the Watcher asked sharply, trying to hold her up. Spike raised an eyebrow, but Buffy mumbled the answer first.

"He didn't do _shit_ , Giles." More giggles and a dazed look as she tried to straighten herself up. "Leave him be." He stood still, giving the vampire an evil eye.

"Don't think I don't realize what is going on here, Spike", he warned slowly, his arm on her hips. The vampire mocked a salute and turned to leave.

"Yeah, yeah, 'night", he sneered, walking out of the yard.

Giles lifted the limp body of his Slayer, determined to deliver her to the couch. She was grabbing his arm feebly, only using her superpower when he tried to leave.

"Vamps are better than frat boys", she muttered, finally releasing him and grabbing a cushion instead. Giles sighed, pulling a quilt over her still form, and stroked her hair.

"Please don't tell me you're doing this again", he whispered, looking at her face, soundly asleep.


End file.
